RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH

Hi, my name is Jen and I am an alcoholic. After 15 years of sobriety, I had to reintroduce myself back in the rooms of AA on October 9 2023, being one of the most humbling experiences for an alcoholic like me, who’s pride and ego can get in the way, sometimes being one of my biggest character defects that I’m still working on, being a daily reprieve for me.

A little bit about myself: I grew up in an Irish Catholic home, but one that became very broken. When I was seven years old, my parents went through a divorce. During this time, I was in a battered wive’s shelter, and then separated from my siblings until the divorce proceedings. I felt super alone and devastated.

After my Dad regained custody of all of us kids, and being reunited with my siblings, we still went through what every child does living with an alcoholic parent. Needless to say, I was introduced to the rooms of AA at a very young age, but it felt like home to me, something I knew absolutely nothing about. I just knew what the suffering was like.

I ended up becoming a very defiant, lost, broken soul, being raised without a mother, and by a father who was mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive. Living in constant fear and turmoil, I picked up my first drink at eight years old, and it was the best feeling in the world. All my hurt, my pain, and my brokenness had been removed. I didn’t know it was the start of my alcoholism.

All my hurt, my pain, and my brokenness had been removed. I didn’t know it was the start of my alcoholism.

At the age of 16, I went to a party, drinking until a complete oblivion, having not a care in the world. And on the weekends, that’s what I looked forward to. Rather than being the volleyball athlete, the track runner, and softball player that I was at 17, I was in the bars hanging with an older crowd, skipping school, almost not graduating with my class, but did so by going to summer school.

At 18, I ended up pregnant, and at 19 I had my son. I didn’t drink again until after my second child was born when I was 25. By this time I was married and a stay-at-home mother. I was prescribed pain meds for a C-section, and my addiction took off. I ended up going to work but traveling from state to state in order to be able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, leaving my children, my home, and my husband behind. It ended in divorce and a custody battle for my children, but it didn’t stop me from doing what I was doing.

At 27, I was seeing a doctor who’s nurse propositioned me to bust scripts with her, so for the next numerous years that’s what i did, hitting 26 drug stores a month. I met another man during this time who was doing the same things I was, and ended up pregnant again. I had my daughter, continuing to do the same exact same thing, expecting different results.

At 34, I ended up getting hemmed up arrested, facing 20 to life in prison, which still didn’t stop me.

At 34, I ended up getting hemmed up arrested, facing 20 to life in prison, which still didn’t stop me. In 2008, the same father, who was an alcoholic and had already been in the rooms for countless years, suggested I go into treatment. At this time I surrendered, thinking that I may be going to prison, but at least I’d go to prison sober. When I got into treatment, I was pregnant again, not knowing what to do because I couldn’t stay. Jack Muhall was opening a woman’s facility called Maggie’s House, and had asked me to be a house mom there. I took him up on the offer due to the fact of being able to have my daughter there once I had her. Unfortunately, that’s not how things took place. I was living a life of delusion. knowing I was facing all this time in prison, that child had been removed from me leaving the hospital, and given up for adoption. Even though I was completely broken hearted, I didn’t know at the time that God was doing for me and my child what I couldn’t do for either of us.

I completed Maggie’s house and was waiting to be sentenced to prison. During this time I met another man who I thought was going to be my forever. Six months later, I was sentenced to six years mandatory prison time and shipped off to Marysville. When I arrived, I was pregnant again and dealing with the consequences of my drinking. My son’s Dad had been in and out of treatment at the time, therefore my son had gone up for adoption. Seven months later his Dad overdosed and died while I was on the phone with him from prison. My heart was shattered; I just lost another child due to my alcoholism, but also the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

I utilized the tools that were given to me with this program, after being knocked to my knees, and prayed, getting busy and moving my feet. In 2015, I was a success story. Coming out of prison, I attended AA meetings, had a God of my understanding, and landed a great job. I met another man who I thought would sweep me off my feet, ended up pregnant again, and stayed with him eight years.

During those eight years, I had another baby, but this one I was able to keep, having my life together. So I thought. But I was being verbally, emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically, abused—something I said I would never endure again after watching what my mother had gone through. But didn’t know how to get out of it.

In 2020, I lost my Dad who ended up being my best friend after AA had changed his life…

In 2020, I lost my Dad who ended up being my best friend after AA had changed his life, as well as our lives as a family. The man I once hated ended up being my Rock and my best friend. I completely lost my faith and honesty during the process. I did the only thing I knew to do in order to deal with the trauma and the pain —I picked up, overdosing two times in a month’s span. My life was spiraling completely out of control, and knew that if I didn’t seek help, I would definitely die this time.

Having the tools from before, I entered into detox at Stella Maris, spent eight days there, and was ready to go to treatment, no matter how long it took. I went to Jean Marie that Monday and spent the next nine months with a God of my understanding, making my bed, and humbling myself every morning to pray, working with a sponsor, doing my 12 steps, being of service to others, and completing the program by doing things one day at a time. Today I’m only here by God’s grace and Mercy. I know that no matter what I face and go thru in life, I don’t have to pick up I have my tools to utilize dealing with life on life’s terms.

I’m extremely blessed to have shared parenting with my son, have my other children in my life, a great job, and another chance at life…I sponsor, I remain of service to others, and lead when asked. I’m forever grateful for the ED KEATING CENTERS for making sure their doors stay open for an alcoholic like me, which has taught me to remain humble, positive, loving, kind, passionate, honest, pure, and genuine to the next person coming thru the doors. I’ve learned that sometimes God has to take us to our knees, to where we can seek him and find him, so that every storm passes us without us having to pick up another drink, making our lives completely unmanageable.