RECOVERY STORY

My names Jana, I’m a grateful recovering alcoholic. My sobriety date is June 24th, 2022. I have a younger sister, my parents are still married, and my childhood was basically normal. I had everything I needed and basically everything I wanted. As long as I can remember, I’ve been resentful, selfish, entitled and angry for reasons I don’t understand besides I’m an alcoholic.

I had my first drunk around 12 or 13 with my older cousins. Most of my firsts were with them seeing as we were practically raised together. My alcoholism took off in high school when I was grounded for 6 months for throwing a party while my parents were out of town and I could only hang out with my cousins. Instantly I was a blackout drinker and the sole purpose was to get completely annihilated. And that’s exactly what I did.

Before I knew it, i was laying on a cold floor in a holding cell wondering how I got there.

As time went on and my alcoholism progressed, new and different substances were added along the way. Before I knew it, i was laying on a cold floor in a holding cell wondering how I got there. For 5 years, I was locked away swearing up and down never again, when I got home everything was going to be different and I believed that with all I had in me. Nothing changes if nothing changes and nothing changed. I came home and spent the next 2 and a half ish years digging myself deeper and deeper into the darkness. Trying to die and only living for that next one. I had given away every piece of me that made me human. I was a soulless shell. 

Something happened June 22nd, 2022. I woke up from another overdose, completely exhausted and defeated. I called my mom and somehow, God froze my delusion for just long enough. When my family begged me to get help for probably the thousandth time, I agreed. I walked into detox yet again on June 23rd, 2022. Unsure, scared to death and so over being sick and tired. I walked into Jean Marie, not fully ready or convinced that I even wanted to be sober but I managed to listen and stay. And I repeated those very simple things that I overcomplicated my entire life: just listen and stay.

And I repeated those very simple things that I overcomplicated my entire life: just listen and stay.

Today I can tell you with an honest heart that in the beginning I didn’t keep me at Jean Marie or the rooms of AA. That was my higher power, the one I maybe thought was there but it surely didn’t hear me. I couldn’t have been more wrong, it heard every word, every cry and every plea for help, I was the one who wasn’t listening.

Two very long but short years later, my higher power guides me through every day, the good ones, the bad ones, the easy and the hard. All I needed was a little willingness and a little bit of faith, to be quiet and listen, and do what was suggested and my life would change. I will forever be grateful for the Keating Center and Jean Marie, the 12 Steps and the love from all of you, I wouldn’t be standing here without all of those. 

And one last thing, just listen and do. It’s that simple 💙