RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH

My name is Kirsten and I am so grateful to be able to call myself a recovering alcoholic today. My sobriety date is 2/7/24 and I recently successfully completed the Ed Keating Center’s Jean Marie House nine-month program on 11/6/24. I grew up in the Toledo, OH area and am the middle of three girls. I grew up in a very loving two-parent household. My parents divorced when I was 17, and I acquired a fantastic step father shortly after, adding to the pair of loving parents I already had. My childhood home did not have alcohol or drugs in it, as nobody in my immediate family suffered from the disease of addiction. I have never seen my parents intoxicated.

At the age of 12, I became very ill and was slipping in and out of a coma.

I did experience some trauma, however, in my childhood. At the age of 12, I became very ill and was slipping in and out of a coma. I was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes and was told I would have to do shots of insulin the rest of my life in order to live. I had never heard the word “diabetes” before, and was terrified. I also suffered with an extreme case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which had manifested in my early years. My mind was full of obsessive thoughts making my behaviors very compulsive.

I was a popular kid in school, was athletic, and always felt “part of” the crowd. When I was diagnosed with Diabetes at age 12, this changed the way I viewed myself. I, very suddenly, felt very different than everyone else. I was scared to share with others that I had this disease. Fear consumed me and my whole life as I knew it, changed.

My first drink was around the age of 16. It provided me with relief from the fears that consumed me, and also eliminated the debilitating symptoms of OCD. When I drank, I no longer had obsessive thoughts about life, and numbed my negative feelings about my diabetes. It was, very frankly, relieving for me. For the next 16 years, I progressed into a black-out drinker and was constantly chasing that delusional relief. My substance use progressed to varying forms of alcohol, and I seemed to chase anything that gave me some relief from worry, and anything to help me get out of myself. I became addicted to anything and everything I tried. I seemed to go through a period of time when I was addicted to a substance, and then that would transition to another substance. Alcohol, however, was always present during my phases experiencing with varying substances.

I became addicted to anything and everything I tried.

My first treatment experience was when I was 18 years old. I went through many treatment centers in my 20’s, even attended Hazelden’s program in Minnesota. After a DUI, I got a Possession of Paraphernalia charge and at the age of 32, was homeless, and unable to care for myself. I went to a halfway house in Toledo for 11 months, and this started a nine-year period where I stayed clean and sober. During those nine years, I got married and got my Master’s Degree.

However, I failed to enlarge my spiritual life, and remained selfish. I did not help others to the extent which I should have, and was consumed by my own life. I was also working in the addiction field, which got me in trouble because I eventually stopped going to meetings and being sponsored, as I felt on a daily basis that I had spent all day working in recovery, and thought that would be sufficient to keep me sober. It did not. I relapsed after just over nine years sober. This relapse was extremely damaging. My disease was a decade worse than when I stopped. I ended up doing more extreme substances in various forms of delivery that I had never done before. Within just a couple of months, I was separated from my husband, and without a job. I needed treatment.

I relapsed after just over nine years sober. This relapse was extremely damaging.

For the next several years, I was in-and-out of treatment centers and even went back to jail. I would acquire periods of sobriety, but was unable to maintain it. About four years ago, I went to Glenbeigh, then a sober living in Cleveland, and have not returned to Toledo since. I love the recovery community in Cleveland, which ultimately kept me here. I found myself actively addicted again from 9/23-2/24 after just completing a year of sobriety. February 5, 2024, I had had enough and reached out to Michele at the Ed Keating Center’s Jean Marie House. I knew it was a nine-month program, as I had been there before. She agreed for me to come back, and on February 6, 2024 entered their doors. I was home!!

My mother passed away shortly following my admission to Jean Marie on 3/8/24, just as I had celebrated only 30 days sober. I feel like my Higher Power plucked me out of society and put me at Jean Marie when He did, so that I would be surrounded by healthy women and get through my mom’s death sober. My dad passed away in 2017 and I was unable to stay sober during that time. Jean Marie is now my home. It provided me with structure, discipline, and accountability. I got a new sponsor and got busy working the steps. I reconnected with my Higher Power, and have improved my relationship with Him. I have made amends to family members and others. I have my sisters back in my life today. I ended up getting divorced and was able to make amends with my ex-husband. I feel a “part-of”. My support group is huge. I recently moved out of Jean Marie House and still attend aftercare there and facilitate a group. I feel I will always be connected there. It has been a truly amazing journey and I am forever grateful for Michele and the Ed Keating Center. They have given me back my life.