RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH

My name is Melissa, and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is February 12, 2022. I have 26 months of sobriety. I honestly never believed this could happen in my life.  It is a miracle. I’m a miracle. I thank God every day that I’m alive, and that I’ve been given so many chances. 

I am 45 years old, and grew up in Brook Park, Ohio. I am the youngest of three. I came from a stable home. Neither of my parents drank.  They taught me morals, values and were amazing examples for me. There is however, alcoholism in my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins).  This is not why I am an alcoholic though.  When I take a drink, (in any form), the overwhelming mental obsession begins, and my life spirals out of control.

Growing up I excelled at everything. I had a determination to be the best. I tried attaining perfection in anything I put my mind to; academics, sports, everything. On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. Internally though, I always felt feelings of inadequacy. I felt different, and I never felt “good enough”.  

On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. Internally though, I always felt feelings of inadequacy.

My first drunk was at the age of 15. I loved it. I had “arrived”. From that day forward, everything in my life became secondary. Nothing was as important as alcohol and partying, and it became my number one focus. 

For the next almost 30 years of my life, my disease progressed. I was introduced to many forms of alcohol, and each and every one consumed my life more and more. With each, my life got worse and worse. I am a mother of 2 amazing boys. One is 19 years old, and the other is 11. I signed over custody of my boys to my father in 2016. Being a mother gave me purpose in life, and after losing them, I dove deeper and deeper into the darkness of my disease. 

I couldn’t stand myself. I ended up in toxic, abusive, severely co-dependent relationships because I didn’t love myself. I became homeless and on the streets; moving around from friends’ basements, garages and endless motels and hotels. There was no stability. All I cared about was the “next one”. And whatever I had to do to get it. That came before anyone and everything. I was a slave to my disease.

All I cared about was the “next one”. And whatever I had to do to get it.

Jails, institutions and yes, even death continued, until finally I was so broken, and desperate. My aunt who is in this program reached out to me. That was God intervening. I agreed and eagerly wanted a different life. I surrendered. I went to the Jean Marie House. Since that day, my life has never been the same. I worked extremely hard. I got a sponsor, worked the steps, and took suggestions. I sat down and finally listened for once in my life. I didn’t have the answers. I found the solution in AA and the steps. I stayed at Jean Marie for 15 months and moved into a women’s sober house on the West Side of Cleveland, where I currently reside today. 

Because of God and AA, relationships with my family have been restored. My family previously would have nothing to do with me for years. I am a mother. A present, sober mother. I have love for myself today. I am so grateful for Jean Marie and AA. I sponsor girls today and go back to JMH weekly to facilitate group. I am an active member of AA. God has become the center of my life. Without Him I would not be here today. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me.